Trust, Friendship and Fallout
A Meditation by Rev. Cameron Trimble
"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal." — Martin Luther King Jr.
I have just returned from nearly two weeks in Italy. While I was there, I had a powerful conversation with a local woman who gifted me with insight into friendship, gratitude, harm and care.
She started by talking about history. She explained how Italians remember what the United States and Canada did during World War II. She spoke about being liberated from fascism, what it meant to be freed from authoritarian rule, and the lasting gratitude to the US and Canada that followed. She said Italians have often felt that their relationship with the United States and Americans was like family.
Then she talked about the present.
She told me that when she meets American these days, many of them apologize. They try to explain. They carry something that looks like shame.
She said it hurts her to hear that.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. “We understand you cannot control the actions of one man or one administration.”
Then she paused.
“But I understand it feels like a mark on you as an individual,” she said. “We carry it too. We weren’t proud of Mussolini or some of the leaders we have had in our past.”
She then named the point of current tension. The United States launched an attack on Iran without consulting its allies, without any discussion beforehand, and without the kind of coordination that real relationships need.
“Most Italians feel this is not how you treat your friends,” she said.
What she was naming was not just a political failure. It was a relational one. And she recognized it because Italy has lived this before. Authoritarianism is not theoretical for Italians. It is historical memory. They know what it looks like when power acts without accountability, when decisions are made without consultation, and when relationships are treated as inconveniences.
German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer understood this from the inside. He watched his own government sever its commitments one by one, incrementally, through decisions that each seemed containable, until suddenly nothing was. He wrote that responsible action requires remaining tethered to others, and that decisions made in isolation never stay isolated. They ripple outward. They rewrite what people thought they could count on.
That is what my new friend in Italy was talking about. She wasn’t expressing her nation’s outrage at one decision. She was describing how trust is suddenly eroded.
This is how relationships work. They are not held together just by treaties, but by expectations and the habit of showing up for each other. When that fabric tears, it doesn’t tear cleanly. It frays, and people on the other side feel it coming apart before they can even name it.
For a growing number of Americans right now, this carries a special kind of weight.
We did not make these decisions.
And we are connected to them anyway.
That connection can lead us to feel shame, become defensive, or try to explain ourselves too much. But there might be another way to handle it, not as something to run from, but as something to carry with honesty. We can admit harm where it exists. We can listen when others share how it has affected them. We can stay in relationship even when trust is strained—because Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, was right: peace is not a place we reach. It is something we practice, built in small moments of honest contact, one conversation at a time.
You and I cannot control what is decided at the highest levels of power.
But last week in Italy, I spoke with a woman who still believes friendship between peoples is possible. She mourned what is being lost and was still willing to say so to a stranger from the country that is causing great harm.
That felt like something worth caring for.
The fabric of our shared life is either weakened or repaired in moments just like that.
We are in this together,
Cameron
Reflection Questions
Where have you felt the weight of representing something larger than yourself in this moment?
How do you respond when others name harm connected to your country, community, or identity?
What does it look like for you to remain in relationship when trust has been strained?
A Prayer for the Day
A Prayer For The Work of Repair
God, we are bound to one another in ways we do not choose and cannot escape. When harm is done in our name, give us the courage to face it without turning away. Keep us from defensiveness that closes the door and from shame that silences us. Teach us how to remain present. To listen with honesty. To speak with humility. Where trust has been broken, show us how to begin again. Not with grand gestures, but with steady acts of care. Amen.
Spiritual Practice
Encountering Difference
This week, seek out one honest conversation across difference: political, national, cultural, generational.
Do not defend your point of view. Do not try to explain your perspective. Simply listen to how things look from where the other person is standing.
Before you go into that conversation, take a few minutes to sit quietly and ask yourself: What am I afraid to hear? Let that question open you. Then go.
Afterward, write down one thing that shifted.
Upcoming Events That Might Be of Interest…
My team and I launched a new experiment we are calling “The Commons.” It’s an online space centered around communities of practice: groups of people who share a common concern, set of problems, or passion for a topic, and deepen their knowledge and expertise by interacting on an ongoing basis. Join the community here.
May 27, 2026, 12pm ET - FREE WEBINAR - I will be hosting an online experience titled “Reclaiming the Power of Imagination: A live experiential webinar with Jackie Sussman." Jackie, a psychotherapist, author, and leading expert in Eidetic Image Psychology, has spent over forty years helping leaders and individuals unlock creativity, uncover hidden strengths, and move through limiting patterns. During this session, she will lead a live Eidetic process shaped by mythic imagery, offering a direct experience of the work. REGISTER HERE.
On July 19-24, 2026, I’ll be leading a Women’s Wellness Retreat in the Wind River Mountains of Wyoming, and I’d love to extend the invitation to you. We’ll spend five days off the grid, riding horses through wide open landscapes, sharing meals, and creating space to slow down enough to hear ourselves think again. This retreat is about returning to yourself, settling your nervous system, letting go of what you’ve been carrying, and getting clearer about what matters now. The group will be small (no more than 10 women), and we’ll move at a steady, spacious pace, with plenty of room for both conversation and quiet. I hope you’ll consider joining us.
I drafted a Strategic Framework for Congregations as we move into the coming years of increased authoritarianism around the world. If interested, you can download it here.
Fun Things My Friends Are Up To…
I get to work with such amazing, creative people. This section is my way of celebrating them—no paid promotions, just joy in what they’re creating.
I am very lucky to collaborate with the great team at Church Anew in a number of ways. We are dreaming up a preaching conference and wonder who you might like to learn from (if you are a preacher-type). If you have a moment, fill out this form.
My colleague, the amazing Rev. Anna Golladay, is hosting another online training in Protest and Action Chaplaincy. This course offers a framework for providing compassionate, grounded spiritual care during protests, advocacy gatherings, and social movements. Drawing from a variety of faith traditions and critical social justice theory, it equips chaplains, pastors, and spiritual leaders to respond with integrity, purpose, and preparedness. LEARN MORE HERE.
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Thanks for this meditation Cameron. As a Canadian with so many dear friends on the American side of the border, I feel tension when some of my compatriots want to paint America with one brush. But honestly, my tethers have never been stronger. “We’re in this together” doesn’t know geographical boundaries friend.
Thank you.