What Grief Holds
A Meditation by Rev. Cameron Trimble
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” — Jamie Anderson
A note: This week, I’m away leading my Wyoming Expedition—off-grid with ten amazing humans and over 80 beautiful horses. Since I won’t be writing these meditations in “real time” as I usually do, I’m sharing with you some of the stories I’ll be telling around campfires, on the shores of alpine lakes, and at the edges of high cliffs. These are stories that journey with us—quiet companions that do their work over time as we carry them within. I hope you enjoy them.
A long time ago, in a small village, there lived a woman named Kisa Gotami. She had one child—a son—who was the center of her world. When he suddenly fell ill and died, her heart broke in two. She couldn’t accept it. Wouldn’t. Grief consumed her. She carried his lifeless body through the streets, pleading for medicine, desperate to find someone who could bring him back.
The villagers looked on helplessly. Some turned away. Some offered pity. At last, one person gently pointed her to the Buddha.
So she went—grief-stricken, clutching the only world she had known.
When the Buddha saw her, he did not lecture or offer easy answers. Instead, he listened. Then he said, “Yes, I can help. But first, bring me a mustard seed from a home that has never known death.”
Kisa Gotami set off, knocking on doors. “Do you have a mustard seed?” she asked. “Yes,” many replied. But when she asked if they had ever known death, the answer was always yes—an aunt, a child, a friend, a husband.
With each encounter, her understanding deepened. Death had touched every household. Sorrow was not hers alone.
She returned to the Buddha—not with a mustard seed, but with something even more precious: the knowing that she was not alone. Her grief had not singled her out. Loss was not a punishment. It was part of the human path—a threshold we all must cross.
That day, she laid her son down, not because the pain had vanished, but because she had begun to carry it differently. Her sorrow did not dissolve. It became part of her. Woven into her story. Woven into her strength.
We often talk about grief as something we are meant to release. But for those of us who have loved deeply and lost, we know the truth is more complicated. Grief doesn’t leave. It stays with us, reshaping us over time. We do not let it go so much as grow around it—our capacity stretching, our hearts thickening, our tenderness deepening.
To live with grief is not to fail at healing. It is to honor love that had nowhere else to go. And grief, for all its ache, is never the opposite of joy. It is the shadow joy casts when love endures beyond time.
So if you find yourself carrying sorrow today, let this be your reminder: you are not broken. You are not alone. And you are not asked to release what still belongs to your heart.
But perhaps, for a moment, you can let the Earth hold some of it with you. Let the wind carry a whisper of your ache. Let the silence remind you that sorrow, too, is sacred ground.
You do not have to rush forward.
You only need to breathe.
Remember that healing is not forgetting. It is learning to live with the love that grief still carries.
We are in this together,
Cameron
Reflection Questions
Who or what have you lost that still lives on in your love?
How has your grief shaped the person you are becoming?
Where in your life are you being invited to grow around sorrow—not to move on from it, but to carry it more gently?
A Prayer for the Day
A Prayer for Those Who Carry Grief
O Love that weaves through joy and sorrow, We come to you with our hands full— Full of names and memories, Full of what we couldn’t say, or couldn’t keep. We are not asking to forget. We are asking for the strength to carry what remains. Help us grow wide enough to hold what hurts without hardening our hearts. Help us remember that grief is not weakness— It is the echo of love that still sings within us. May we be gentle with ourselves and one another. And when words fail, may the wind, the earth, and the stars hold our stories in silence. Amen.
Spiritual Practice
Carving a Circle of Remembrance
Find a quiet space—outside, if possible. Gather a few small objects that connect you to someone or something you’ve lost. These could be stones, leaves, photographs, or items from daily life.
Place them in a circle on the ground, forming a small sacred space. Sit beside it and let yourself feel what arises. You don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to change it. Just be with your grief as you would with a dear friend.
If it helps, say their name aloud. Or speak a simple sentence: “You are remembered. You are loved.”
Remain with this space for as long as you like.
When you’re ready, gently gather the objects with care.
Know that in this act, you are tending to your grief—not as a problem to fix, but as a thread in the fabric of your becoming.
Upcoming Events That Might Be of Interest…
August 11, 2025, 2pm ET - Dr. Andrew Root and I will be hosting a 6 part series on Spirituality in the Secular Age based on his research. The dates are August 11, 18, September 8, 15, and October 6, 13. Register here!
September 4, 4:30pm ET - I will be collaborating with the Anderson Forum for Progressive Theology to host a conversation with Thomas Jay Oord on Open and Relational theology. It’s a FREE event. Register here.
October 15-18, 2025 - Converging 2025: Sing Truth Conference (all musicians invited!) at Northwest Christian Church in Columbus, OH. Register here!
October 23, 30, November 6, 13, 2025, 7pm ET - In Search of a New Story: Reimagining What Comes Next, A 4-Part Online Series with Matthew Fox, Cameron Trimble, and Special Guests. We are living through the unraveling of many old stories—about who we are, why we’re here, and how we are meant to live together on this Earth. As these inherited narratives collapse under the weight of climate crisis, social fragmentation, and spiritual disconnection, the question becomes clear: What story will guide us now? REGISTRATION OPENING SOON!
I drafted a Strategic Framework for Congregations as we move into the coming years of increased authoritarianism around the world. If interested, you can download it here.
If you are a leader or member of a congregation looking for consulting support in visioning, planning, hiring or staffing, please consider Convergence.
Most helpful this day after my brothers death from congestive heart failure. Bless to all who carry greif.
How can I possibly express my deep gratitude for your presence. There are few words that have touched my journey with grief.