Two Arrows
A Meditation by Rev. Cameron Trimble
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” —Buddhist Proverb
• • •
There is an ancient Buddhist parable about two arrows. The first arrow represents the inevitable pain we encounter in life—loss, disappointment, heartbreak, or physical pain. These moments are part of being human, and they strike us all. The second arrow, however, is different. It’s the suffering we add to that pain—the anger, self-blame, fear, or resentment that grows when we resist what has happened. The first arrow is unavoidable, but the second arrow? That one is within our control.
Think about a time when something painful happened. Perhaps it was a harsh word from someone, or the loss of a dream, or even a small frustration like spilling coffee on an important document. The initial sting—the first arrow—is real and valid. But what comes next? Do we replay the moment in our minds, blaming ourselves or others? Do we let frustration spiral into anger? The second arrow often wounds us more deeply than the first.
Henri Nouwen once wrote, “The great challenge is living your wounds through, instead of thinking them through.” We need to be present with our pain rather than resisting it or letting it grow into unnecessary suffering. When we face life’s inevitable arrows, we can choose to soften our response with self-compassion, trusting that God is near. The psalmist reminds us, “God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) Love meets us in our pain, offering not quick fixes, but steady love and care to guide us through.
Jesus himself embodied this wisdom. Even in moments of deep pain and rejection, he chose forgiveness over resentment, love over bitterness. On the cross, he prayed, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) We don’t have to let pain define us; we can transform it into an opportunity for love, understanding, and growth.
I’m not suggesting that you ignore pain or pretend it doesn’t hurt. It’s about meeting pain with compassion, both for ourselves and for others. It’s about softening our hearts instead of hardening them. The next time you feel the sting of life’s arrows, remember that while you can’t avoid the first, you have the power to release the second.
We are in this together,
Cameron
Reflection Questions
What “second arrows” have I been carrying recently? How have they added to my suffering?
How might I meet the unavoidable pains in my life with gentleness and grace?
A Prayer for the Day
A Prayer for Letting Go
Loving God,
You invite us to cast our burdens on You, for You care deeply for us.
Help me to release the second arrows of blame, anger, and fear.
Teach me to meet life’s challenges with compassion for myself and others.
May Your love guide me to transform pain into wisdom, and suffering into grace.
Amen.
Spiritual Practice
Noticing the Second Arrow
Today, when you experience discomfort, frustration, or pain, take a moment to pause. Acknowledge the first arrow—the unavoidable pain. Then, gently notice any second arrows that arise: the self-blame, the frustration, the stories in your mind.
Ask yourself, What if I didn’t shoot this second arrow?
Practice letting go of resistance. Instead of adding layers of suffering, respond with compassion. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: Pain is part of life, but I can choose how I respond. As you reflect on this practice, notice how it begins to ease your experience and create space for peace.
Upcoming Events That Might Be of Interest…
November 21, 12-1pm ET - Advent After the Election - What does it mean to step into the season of Advent on this side of the 2024 Presidential election? If you are a pastor, how do you intentionally engage this impending season with an awareness of the cultural and political landscape we find ourselves in? Register for the conversation here.
November 21 - 7-9:00pm ET - What Buddhism and Christianity Can Teach Us About Gratitude: A Conversation with Rev. Dr. Isa Gucciardi and Rev. Cameron Trimble. Find out more here.
December 1 - 4-5:30pm ET - FREE Online webinar with Rev. Jim Dant - “Understanding the Development of the Christmas Nativity Stories Through the Lens of Jewish Midrash (What You Were NOT Taught in Sunday School).” Register here.
July 20-25, 2025 - The Art of Wilding: A 5-Day Expedition in Wyoming for Women Leaders. Click here to learn more.
I so deeply appreciate these writings! They are touching and timely. Thank you. Namasté, Augusta